Sunday, April 3, 2011

How did I get here?

    Wow so a blogger I am not from the sporadic entries I write. I have to say it is interesting to look back and see where I was in my life in October and now in April. So many things are changing in my life for the better!
     For starters the Peace Corps is a no go. After being nominated I had to figure out how I was going to pay for all the dental work I needed done and the medical expenses of getting medically cleared. As I stressed over how I was going to do this I called to ask Peace Corps representatives for advice and help. Well the answers I got were nothing less than rude! Everyone I spoke to had an attitude and acted like I was a moron for asking how other people went about getting all of there medical/dental services taken care of. So needless to say that did not make me want to join the Peace Corps. How would you like to be in a third world country and have to rely on some who treated you like a moron and practically yelled at you. No thank you!
     I finally made the decision that I was not going into the Peace Corps after a long, painful dentist appointment. I realized that my teeth were a problem now and could also be in the future. I broke down in the office with a friend who worked there and told her I don't think I can go. She looked at me and said " Then it just wasn't meant to be." It stunk but I knew she was right. Whether it was timing or just not the right thing for me doesn't matter. I just knew in my gut I didn't need to go into the Peace Corps.

    I realized a few things through ending the Peace Corps process:

~ I don't think I went into this process with a serving heart, I think I went in with a selfish heart, wanting to run away and have an adventure. Why would I want to leave behind a wonderful city, filled with amazing friends, family, and a loving church? I do not know. Its strange but I still can't shake the urge to get away. A friend pointed out to me that of my long list of why I wanted to go into the PC, helping people or serving was one of the last things I said. In my book that was a wake up call to how my life was definitely unbalanced. What happened to my drive to help others?

~ I was running away from having to make decisions or deal with responsibilies. I am comfortable in my life right now. I love my job, my church, and this city yet I wish I lived more simply, with less material things, and made more money and had benefits. Honestly the appeal of the PC was the medical/dental benefits, living abroad, and being able to give away most of my material things. I've realized that I have to look a little farther into the future and start making decisions for my future. Then I can plan for travel.

     I found comfort in knowing that God knows the desires of my heart and that I needed to be patient and wait to see what God had in store for me. In March I received an email from my minister of missions at my church he simpled asked How would you like to go to Kenya to work with orphans? He gave me a description of what they were looking for and said it would be for two weeks in April/May. My immediate response was "YES! OMG YES!!!" The the responsibilities of my life flooded in- Can I afford to go to Kenya? Can I take off work?

     So I simply responded I would love to but do not know if I can financially. He said he would look into aid and get back to me. I couldn't believe the next email- he said "I've come up with $2400 for financial aid and the trip is $3000 you think you can come up with the rest?" HOLY COW! WHAT? Did he really just say that 80% of my trip would be paid for. I was jumping for joy. Then I remembered my job, my students. Could I really leave them? So I said that was amazing and that I would have to talk to my boss.

      Just so happens I have not taken but two sick days this year so I had paid personal days to take and I have an amazingly supportive boss who said I would be crazy to pass this up!! So I'm going to Kenya!! To top it all off my minister one Sunday afternoon emailed me to tell me that some people in the church had heard about my trip and wanted to anonymously donate to my trip. Bringing my total to $250 that I would be paying. I cried and cried. I am so blessed to have such amazing people around me.

Speaking of amazing put the icing on the cake of life, my roommate got engaged and I am her maid of honor AND my cousin got engaged and I am a bridesmaid. So how in the world would I have been able to have these two honors if I was half way around the world?

Life is sweet and God is so good. So that is where I am in life. I leave to go to Kenya the day after Easter and I could not be more excited to really be going to serve with an amazing organization.


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